The Life and Times of Konoha High
by Siggy and Flippy
Summary: So the school dance, which I'm in charge of planning, is in a week. I've got homework, a vandal's been trying to destroy everything, and I don't have a date! Hi. I'm Ino Yamanaka, and I'm doomed.
1. Alarm Clocks

**Disclaimer: **Haha! Own me not! Siggy? _Uh, yeah!_

**A/N: **iflip talks normal. _Siggy talks in italics, which is really cool! _We'll talk like this in our author notes so that you don't get confused. Siggy, intro the story. _It's about people. And other stuff. _Since she's useless, I'll explain. This story is told from Ino's point of view (though occassionally it'll switch) and it's an AU high school story. Yeah... Points to you if you understood that. And yes, it does have a plot. Now, on with the show! _I thought it was a story..._ You're pathetic.

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The lights dimmed, the music slowed down, and the couples began dancing. Everything was perfect, except for the tiny fact that I had no one to dance with. As if by magic, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the floor. They then went on to release my hand, just to position themself for a bout of slow dancing.

Before I followed his motions, I looked to see his face. He didn't have one. Just then, the romantic moment turned to one out of a horror film, as the fire alarms started going off. My faceless hero disappeared, as did the lights, the music, the other people. I was left alone in the dark, with the horrid ringing still in the air. Wait, ringing? The alarms at Konoha High didn't ring. The alarms at any nice hotel within a five-mile radius didn't ring. The alarms at the local swimming center didn't ring.

There was only one culprit here. A clock. A very certain clock. My clock.

My eyes opened and I glared at the alarm clock accusingly. Nope, still don't have psychic powers. I pressed the off button and sat up, rubbing my eyes. It was then that I noticed the time.

"Ack!" I slid out of bed and raced over to my closet, all drawsiness gone. The time was 7:00, ten minutes until the school bell rang. Since I live right next to school, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, except that I have to be there early every day this week. I'm in charge of planning the school dance, and let me tell you, it's a lot of work. Changing into clothes from my purple PJ's was fast enough (a purple skirt, leggings, and sweater), but my hair was another story.

It's long. Very long. I chopped most of it off about three years ago because I said that I would when my best friend, Sakura, cut her hair, but it grew back. Hers didn't. It also gets tangled really easily, which is why I always pull it back into a long ponytail. Unfortunately for me, that always means a wrestling match in the morning with my hair. I usually win.

Today, however, it's being stupid.

"Come on," I muttered, dragging my purple brush through my hair, eyes watering as I yank it through a paticularly dense knot. It takes a good two minutes to brush out my hair. I quickly pulled it up into a high ponytail and pin back the bangs on one side with a purple clip.

Yes, my favorite color is purple.

I grabbed my backpack from the corner of my room, threw open my door, and go down the stairs. I wish I could say that I flew down with grace and flowed out the door. The truth? I tripped down the stairs and ran into the door.

"Ow..." I stumbled back, rubbing my nose. "That hurt..."

"Aren't you going to have breakfast, Ino?" my mother asked me.

"I've got to get to school! School dance, remember?" I reminded her. My mom tends to forget a lot of things. Once she left the house to drive in her slippers. Now _that_ was funny.

"Oh, right. You should still eat though. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," she preached.

I rolled my eyes and took a blueberry bagel from the table. "Fine," I waved it in the air and raced out the door, slamming it behind me.

It took about five seconds outside for me to realize exactly how cold it was. Sure, it was winter, and it was seven in the morning, but I didn't know it was going to be so cold. If I had known, I would have definitely brought an extra-heavy jacket and a scarf or two. But, since I had to hurry to school, I couldn't turn around to grab those things. I just had to endure it. It was a good thing it only took me about a minute to reach the big doors leading into the school.

Opening those doors was easy. Getting through the mobs of people behind them wasn't too hard, but it was much more difficult than getting in the building. Once I made it past them, it was time to start talking to Sakura, who was walking right towards me.

"Oh, hey, Sakura," I said, smiling.

She looked at me impatiently. "And why are you late, exactly?"

"Um..." I pushed my fingers together. "I got lost?"

She just gave me a look. This was the 'suuuuuuure' look.

"Ok, fine. I slept through my alarm."

This time it was the 'my friend is a moron' look. Everyone gets it at one point or another, usually from either me or Sakura. Hinata's too... floaty to give it and doesn't notice when she recieves it, and everyone else... Well, they just don't care. One thing about Sakura that's different, besides the fact that she's a huge medical student and is great at giving evil looks, is the fact that she's got light pink hair. And it's natural. Yeah. I don't get it.

"Sakura-chan!"

"Hi, Naruto," she sighed. Naruto grinned. I've known him for about three years, and for most of those three years, he's been a shrimp. Then he shot up over summer break, so now he's taller than I am. He's also got bright yellow hair that's always a complete mess and strange whisker-like markings on his cheeks. It's no secret that he really, and I mean _really_, likes Sakura. Except to Lee. But he doesn't count. Not really.

"Hey, Ino!"

"Are you always so chipper this early?" I asked him wryly.

"Yup!" he turned to Sakura. "Are you going to the dance?'

"Yes, but-"

"Yaaaaaaah!"

Speaking of Lee...

"As usual, I have no idea why he's so excited."

Lee and Neji, respectively. Best friends, fierce rivals, and complete and total polar opposites. Lee has severe issues. He wears this ridiculous green jumpsuit constantly and has this thing for punishments and rewards that always seem to involve running, push ups, sit ups, or something else. His haircut is crazy. It looks like someone threw a bowl on his head and cut around it. And his eyebrows are _huge_. His crush on Sakura is even bigger than Naruto's.

Okay, maybe not, but he's certainly louder about it.

And he copies his homeroom teacher in everything. It's scary.

Neji, on the other hand, is cold and intelligent. Not that Lee isn't smart, he just doesn't act it. Neji's been getting a lot better though. He's tall, really tall, and has long brown hair. He's a Hyuuga, which means he's got the Hyuuga eyes, white with no pupil. Apparently seeing is no problem.

"What is Lee doing now?" Tenten, a tall girl with brown hair up in twin buns and chocolate brown eyes with a tendency for being late, walked up beside Neji.

"I have absolutely no idea," was the response.

"I'm going," Sakura restarted her sentence, "but I don't have a date."

"I'm dragging her along," I added.

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

"Choji!" I turned to see Choji standing behind me. He was just standing there, though. Not continuing on with his thought, not saying anything, not really doing anything except for take up space. Lots of space. "Why have you decided to entertain us with your input?"

"No real reason," he replied, looking down at the ground.

"So it wouldn't bug you if someone told you that your comment was not needed?" He nodded. "Well, don't expect anyone of us to. It was very well-fitting."

_Rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggggg!_

"I hate that bell," Choji commented. I nodded, and, waving a goodbye, grabbed Sakura and started to walk down the hall.

"I can walk by myself, you know," she told me. "You don't need to drag me."

"Is it just me, or do you sound cheerier?" I asked, letting go.

"Maybe."

"Answer."

"Well..."

I didn't get a full response, partly because Sakura trailed off, and partly because Hinata drifted towards us and fell in beside me. Which left me sandwiched between my two best friends. "Hello," Hinata waved at us.

"Hi," I reply. Now, Hinata's a wonderful friend, but she's very strange. She's Neji's younger cousin, but she acts totally different from him. She's really into therapy by scents and colors. And yoga. She's also very scatter-brained and drifts off.

Sakura sniffed at the air. "What is that smell, Hinata?"

"Hmm?" she looked faintly surprised. "Lavender perfume. I wanted to wear extract of lavender, but there was none left."

I stare at her. You do realize that this is the most sane thing she's said in the past two weeks?

But Sakura has to go and ruin it by asking, "Why are you wearing lavender scent?"

I stomped on her foot. But the damage had been done. "It calms the mind and soothes the body," Hinata replies serenely.

"That was my foot!" Sakura hissed.

"You just had to ask, didn't you," I retorted.

Sakura shot me a glare, but at that moment we came up on the hallway where she had to turn off to go to her homeroom. "Lunch," she warned. "You are dead."

"I'm not worried," I replied, earning another glare before my pink-haired friend turned and stalked off towards her classroom.

"You should wear lavender colors," Hinata informed me. I glanced over at her, noticing that she is indeed wearing a lavender hoodie. "They're very relaxing."

"Hey, Hinata!" The voice of Kiba behind us distracted Hinata and saved me from her explanations of colors and scents which I don't care about. I don't even turn to look, because he always wears the same thing: a gray hoodie with the letter K sewn onto the sleeve and red triangles painted onto his cheeks. I don't know why.

"Hmm?" Hinata looked at him.

"C'mere a sec," he called. Hinata smiled, nodded, and drifted away, waving a hand vaguely back at me in farewell. I shook my head. That's my friends, or at least, most of them. A good one third of them at least. Come to think of it, I have the strangest array of friends. That's including everyone. And, for whatever reason, Choji's been acting a bit strange lately.

The ringing of the minute bell distracted me from my contemplation of friends. Our school is huge. It takes forever to get anywhere. This meant that I had to dash off to my homeroom, recieving several shouts from hall monitors, open the door, race in, and plunk down in my seat just as the bell rang.

Ino: 1, School: 0.


	2. Lunch Conversation

**Disclaimer:** I own Clash of Ninja 2, but not Naruto. Damn.

**A/N: **Sorry! This is really late and... Do we have an excuse, Siggy? _Well, not exactly..._ Yeah. Sorry, guys. I hope this chapter's lunch discussion makes up for the wait. Expect the next update sometime before school starts. That good by you, Sig? _I think so. Then again, I'm not much of a thinker. _Silly. All right, read, enjoy, and review!

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Homeroom is a joke class, actually. The teacher, Asuma, is hardly ever there. He just pops in at the beginning of class to take roll and tell us all that if a salesman comes by wanting to know if we want to buy Galapagos tortoises to say no. Then he leaves. Half the class thinks it's to smoke, the other halfthinks it's to flirt with the drama teacher, Kurenai. Who, interestingly enough, happens to not have a class first thing in the morning.

"Shikamaru, wake up." I shot a glare at the boy in the seat next to me. Shikamaru Nara: resident genius. Lazy as hell, though.

He didn't respond. I resorted to throwing a pen at him. Still nothing. I sighed and waited for what turned out to be a very delayed reaction, as he slowly sat up.

"There's not a single thing to be doing right now, Ino," he said. "Let me sleep, just this once." With that, he put his head back down.

I just stared at him.

"Just this once?" I wanted to know. "Shikamaru, you sleep every homeroom."

The only response I got to _that _was an incoherent mumble. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. There are only two people who can get him to do anything, and neither of them are me.

"Hey, Ino."

I turned at the familiar voice and grinned at the newcomer. "Choji!" Yes, I forgot he has homeroom with me. What kind of a friend am I?

Anyway, he pulled up a chair next to me and sat down. I poked him. He, obviously getting no hint whatsoever that I was originally annoying Shikamaru, poked me back.

"No! Don't touch me!" I said in a very loud tone. It resulted in the entire class looking at me. "What? He touched me."

"Looks like someone's being kind of picky today," Shikamaru said. I glared at him, as he was not sleeping in any way.

I rolled my eyes. "You started this. And now you're actually caring?"

He shrugged. "Let's just say you enlightened me with your powers of observation."

After giving Shikamaru a well-earned glare and one of my infamous tongue stick-outings, I turned back to Choji. "So, why were you late?" I asked conversationally.

He shrugged. "Time just flew by this morning," he replied dramatically, clasping one hand over where I guess his heart is.

"Ha. Funny."

"I'm glad you think so."

I began laughing, which made him start as well. We must have looked like two big idiots sitting there, in the middle of homeroom, laughing up a storm.

"You two are being too loud..."

"Shut it, you!" For once it wasn't me saying something to Shikamaru. Choji had stopped his laughter just long enough to take my job and get on him. Go Choji! Yeah, remember when I said there are only two people existing that can make Shikamaru do stuff? One of those two would be Choji. They're best friends, for some odd reason. The other... would kill me if I ever said anything, so let's just forget about it for now. Okay? Good.

Shikamaru leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. It's one of those popcorn ceilings, you know, the ones with the little bumps and the gumwads stuck to them? He muttered something that sounded like, "Troublesome," and fell silent.

I really don't understand that kid. He could be in college right now if he wanted to, but _no_... He just _had _to stay here and irritate the crap out of me. I guess it comes of being next door neighbors and friends for about fifteen years. Still, I swear, boys are not human. They're the most inhumane creatures known to mankind. I mean womankind. Except maybe Kiba. He's got an animal obsession.

Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about either. See, this is why I don't like homeroom. My thoughts always do stuff like --

_Rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg!_

The next three classes went by pretty quickly. First came art, which was mostly a chat fest, as we never got any projects assigned before midterms. Next came English, where we did nothing but plan essays that would probably end up being forgotten about in a week. Calculus, on the other hand, involved more work than the other two classes combined, and it was hard. For starters, Kakashi teaches that class. Let me tell you about Kakashi. He reads a manga series called Ichi Ichi Paradise, which just happens to be written by the principals' boyfriend. What's worse is that they're porn manga. I know because Naruto looked at one of them while Kakashi wasn't in the room and he told us. Gross. Secondly, I suck at math. I mean, I'm _horrible _at it. So I have to be tutored by Shikamaru.

Let me tell you, you do not want to be tutored by your genius friend in anything. Especially math.

Thankfully, the bell rang, and then I was allowed to go to glorious, amazing, fantastic, life-saving lunch. So maybe the food stunk worse that a week's worth of garbage, but the fact that you could talk to friends made up for that. Not that I wasn't doing that in art, but really, the only person in art that I know is Sai, and, good though he is, he has severe people issues.

Everyday is a new experience for all of us once we're all seated at our usual table. I mean, think about the people that sit at this thing. We manage to crowd over thirteen people at this table. There's me, Choji, Shikamaru, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke, Kiba, Hinata, and Shino, usually. Recently Karin and Suigetsu have joined us, along with Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari. Karin is Sasuke's girlfriend (obsessive fiend is more like it) and Suigetsu is one of Sasuke's friends who everyone knows has crush on Karin. It's the arguing. Suigetsu's friend, Juugo, doesn't sit with us. He says it's too noisy for him.

Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari are new; they just enrolled this year. Before now they went to Suna High. They're siblings: Gaara's in tenth with most of us, Kankuro's in eleventh with Tenten and Neji, and Temari's a senior. I'm not entirely sure why they all sit at our table, though I think it's because Gaara's friends with Naruto and Temari likes to beat on Shikamaru. But then again, I could be wrong.

The rest of our group -- Sai, Tenten, Neji, and Lee -- don't sit at this table. They say our table is too crowded for them. Besides, Sai spends most of his lunches in the art room. So I spied on him a few times. So what? I'm not the only one, believe me.

"Food, glorious food!" Naruto declared, half singing, half hollering. I was immenselyrelieved to see Sasuke -- without missing a beat -- reach up and smack him over the head. That kid can be so annoying.

"Hey, guess what they have for lunch today," Temari said, sliding into her spot.

"Do I want to know?" Shikamaru asked. I stare at him.

"You're awake?" I asked. He just nodded. What an infuriating boy.

"Ravioli that looks like Gaara's dirty socks, slimy pineapple, and curdled chocolate milk," Temari informed us all.

"Thank you ever so much for the analogy, Temari," Gaara said dryly.

"That's what I'm here for."

"Use Kankuro's socks for your analogies."

"I don't know what his look like," Temari replied with a shrug. "You're the one that leaves them out on the floor. Kankuro's are the ones that I can smell from fifty miles away."

"What about socks?" Choji asked, pulling up a chair from an empty table and sitting down next to me. "Are we comparing what our socks have on them? Mine normally have a red band around the ankle, but I'm not wearing any today."

Kiba spit out a half-chewed dog biscuit. "You're not wearing any_ underwear_?"

"That's not what I said." In my mind, I knew that this misunderstanding would lead to a very interesting, if not inappropriate, conversation.

"You do know that you could have just given some other person not wearing anything down there a brilliant idea," Sakura said very matter-of-factly. "That's how babies are made, you know."

I sighed. This was exactly what I was afraid of.

"And, Choji, do you really want to ruin someone's school life? Children are very hard to take care of during class."

"He said he wasn't waring socks," Shino muttered. "Stop acting like Genma, because he's teaching you from some ancient textbook."

Sakura blushed furiously. "I know that! But this is the truth! Trust me!" Everyone in the room must have heard her, because they all turned and laughed for a second before returning to their respective clique lives.

"I'd love to see someone actually get pregnant simply because both them and their significant other weren't 'protected' like that," I giggled, causing Sakura to blush harder. "Who were you inferring to, anyway?"

"I don't know," she replied. "Anyone that he's come in contact with?"

"Even though he is wearing underwear?"

"They're boxers, guys..."

We all sat in silence for a moment. Then Hinata broke it by saying, "The looser undergarments make circulation a lot better." Stunned by the sheer strangeness of that comment, we all started to eat without saying a word.


End file.
